Friday, May 6, 2011

Bob Brody's Lettertomykids.org

Sarah and I recently wrote a guest blog for Bob Brody's Letters To my Kids. It's such a brilliant idea he has, to share your history with your kids via letters, so I was totally thrilled when we were invited to submit our own letter. The whole point of our guest blog, of course, was to promote our book, so in the end our blog ended up leaning more toward Times Two excerpt shaped to be a letter, which is totally fine. The blog will expose our book to a universe of people who never would have known it existed, so we're grateful. I am also grateful that the invitation forced me to write a letter to my kids, though! So I'm posting the initial letter I wrote here as today's blog post on Hangin' With Hendo! 

We should all be writing letters to our kids. It's the best gift we could ever leave them. Thanks, Bob, for reminding me of that.

Dear Thomas & Kate,
So, now that we're heading into your third mother's day on the planet, I thought it would be a good idea to write you a letter outlining the expectations of this momentous holiday.  That way, as we move forward together as a family, there will be fewer misunderstandings. We can just refer back to this document as a reference.

Mother’s Day, as a rule, is particularly stressful on the children of the mother - in your case, the mothers. My brother, sister, and I never quite got it right growing up. Your Nana always felt like she ended up planning the entire day, even though we always came up with the unique idea to barbeque hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill...Every. Single. Year. 

Growing up, it was always one of those holidays that would sneak up on me. As such, I swore I would never put any undue pressure on my own children regarding plans for Mother's Day.

That’s how I thought I’d be.

Before you were born.

Now that you’re here, I feel very differently about Mother’s Day. In fact, I probably feel very much the same way my mother (your Nana) feels about it. OWED.

See, I met your mom and we fell in love. We decided together we wanted to start a family. And when I say together, I mean literally. There was fertility drama on the road to conceiving you both, none of it was fun, much of it required hormonal manipulation via drugs, and oftentimes we experienced cramping (severe, by the way). But somehow, miraculously, you were both conceived on the very same day in May of 2008. 

Since the moment of your "twinned" conceptions, Mommy Sarah and I have been convinced that the two of you must have a serious pact with one another. We actually believe you two have traveled through many lives together. Now, you know Mommy Sarah doesn't really buy much into that type of "mumbo jumbo," so to get her to agree with me on this theory must mean you two really have some deep connection with one another.

In fact, we write all about your connection in our "family book," as you like to refer to the memoir your mom and I got to write thanks to the “miraculousness” of you both (Times Two/Free Press). We make it very clear that  "[You] remind us on a daily basis that from the moment [you] were conceived, this was [your] story. Not ours." 

While those words really do ring true 364 days of the year, I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge in writing that, "This is your story…except on Mother's Day."

On Mother’s Day, the story is about the “miraculousness” of how your two moms got pregnant on the exact same day! It’s about how we went through nine months of pregnancy elbowing each other out of the way as we ran to the bathroom ill from morning sickness. It’s about our swollen ankles (thankfully gone), carpal tunnel (I still show signs of it), still visible varicose veins (Mommy Sarah will be annoyed I mentioned those), and the 180 pounds we collectively gained together to bring you here healthy and viable.

So. Take note. Do not show up on Mother’s Day with cards whose envelopes are still wet from just having been sealed. Even more importantly, do not show up with conjoined mother’s day cards. We both pushed, so we both earned our own individual Hallmark moment. Do not plan a barbeque without paper plates and plastic forks and knives. We’re not doing your dishes, and quite honestly we’d much prefer your company than lose you to cleaning up after the party.

If none of these things seem attainable to you, all I ask for Mother’s Day is that on a year-round basis you always be safe, you always be kind, you never be afraid to call us if you’re in a bind, and know that no matter what is happening in your life, you can always, ALWAYS tell me. And if you can’t tell me, you can tell Mommy Sarah. But I’m probably a better first bet.

I love you with all my heart,
Mommy Kristen



6 comments:

  1. Leslie AtkinsonMay 6, 2011 at 7:13 PM

    Amazing entry by an even more incredible author.
    Happy Mother's Day to one of the best!
    xoxo

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  2. Loved loved loved your Infinity Hall show. Thank GOD Jen Fisher told me about you guys two or so years ago. If I had no husband and kids, I'd be a groupie. Listened to "Borrowed Time" with my boys this morning and felt so much gratitude for motherhood. And for that song!!!! Happy Mother's Day!!!! Can't wait until you come back to Norfolk, and again, my apologies for the behavior of Backer #100 - she means well : )

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  3. Scott Sandler (born on Mother's Day!)May 8, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    Love this! Happy Mother's day to you and Sarah! :)

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  4. You know, I just read this all the way through. Yeah I know I'm a bad follower. But I have to say that you just described years 5 to 20 for me. Except now, I know better. My mom doesn't want a card. She hates that one meaning me, spends 3 to 4 bucks for words that I can say on my own. Now she wants dinner. So just be advised that somewhere down the line, your kiddies might stop giving you cards lol. But hopefully they will always plan a dinner.. restaurant or on their own..with plasticware in tow. You and my mom should talk lol.

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  5. First - fabulous blog! Second - you made me cry. See..I have a mother who I love dearly..but Im not quite yet a mom. My gf and I have been together 5 years and going strong. We talk houses, kids, the works but are not quite in the process just yet. (Im 28 and shes 33). I know it will happen eventually but for me soon enough isn't quite soon enough.
    Anyway - the point of me writing this to you was because..your blog made me cry. I feel your love for your twins. It really is in every ounce of you. Thomas and Kate are blessed to have such wonderful, caring women around them. You and Sarah truly deserve all the greatness. Embrace, enjoy and inspire. Thats what you do for you. Inspire me.. that in time... everywhere is home.

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