Thursday, May 19, 2011

I think I've Just Been Proposed To...

A few weeks back, we confirmed an in-store appearance for our book, Times Two: Two Women in Love and the Happy Family They Made, at a Barnes & Noble on Staten Island. I could seriously digress and lose the entire point of this blog if I revealed how I envisioned this in-store appearance to go. But the really really good news is that I was TOTALLY wrong.

I'm totally wrong most of the time now anyway. I think it's a hormone that goes off after pregnancy that makes you wrong 85-90% of the time. And the more adamantly right you are in a situation, the more definitively wrong you are. At least that's how it's been for me since the babies were born.

Upon arriving at B&N, a man with press credentials introduced himself and started snapping photos of Sarah and me at the book signing table. This, of course, made us look important to all the people who came out to our book signing. And, quite frankly, it made us (read: me)  feel important - which, I've learned as I'm maturing, counts for a lot.  Snap away, Papparazzi.

Shortly after the bulbs stopped flashing, a woman from The Staten Island Advance introduced herself. She said she may be doing a story in an upcoming issue about the Marriage Equality bill about to be voted on in the NY State Senate. Sarah began chatting with the writer, not realizing her discussion was actually "the interview" and every word she uttered was completely on the record.

Not even 12 hours later, The Staten Island Advance hit newsstands worldwide (this slight exxaggeration continues to make me feel important, so roll with me) with a front cover headline that blared the following:

"Former Staten Islander and her Partner "Married" but State Law Says Single" with a photo accompanying the article that looked like this:

Staten Island Advance 05.18.11/Hilton Flores

I strongly suggest you read the (front page, did I mention) article yourselves to draw your own conclusions, but Sarah was quoted with the following statement: 

"We've been holding [off on] getting married until it is legal in our state," Ms. Ellis told the Advance. "It would be amazing if it happened. It it's passed, we are going to get married instantly."

She's obviously talking about me with regard to who she's going to marry instantly upon this law passing, right....?

Assuming that's the case, SKE, my answer is a resounding YES, under one major condition. ROLL VIDEO:



ps-As of this moment, our story is the most commented article on SI this week BY FAR in comparison to the other online articles. Many comments are supportive, some are people who "feel badly for my kids," and that's when I stopped reading the comments. I tweeted the following out to the people who pity my family:

Friday, May 6, 2011

Bob Brody's

Sarah and I recently wrote a guest blog for Bob Brody's Letters To my Kids. It's such a brilliant idea he has, to share your history with your kids via letters, so I was totally thrilled when we were invited to submit our own letter. The whole point of our guest blog, of course, was to promote our book, so in the end our blog ended up leaning more toward Times Two excerpt shaped to be a letter, which is totally fine. The blog will expose our book to a universe of people who never would have known it existed, so we're grateful. I am also grateful that the invitation forced me to write a letter to my kids, though! So I'm posting the initial letter I wrote here as today's blog post on Hangin' With Hendo! 

We should all be writing letters to our kids. It's the best gift we could ever leave them. Thanks, Bob, for reminding me of that.

Dear Thomas & Kate,
So, now that we're heading into your third mother's day on the planet, I thought it would be a good idea to write you a letter outlining the expectations of this momentous holiday.  That way, as we move forward together as a family, there will be fewer misunderstandings. We can just refer back to this document as a reference.

Mother’s Day, as a rule, is particularly stressful on the children of the mother - in your case, the mothers. My brother, sister, and I never quite got it right growing up. Your Nana always felt like she ended up planning the entire day, even though we always came up with the unique idea to barbeque hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill...Every. Single. Year. 

Growing up, it was always one of those holidays that would sneak up on me. As such, I swore I would never put any undue pressure on my own children regarding plans for Mother's Day.

That’s how I thought I’d be.

Before you were born.

Now that you’re here, I feel very differently about Mother’s Day. In fact, I probably feel very much the same way my mother (your Nana) feels about it. OWED.

See, I met your mom and we fell in love. We decided together we wanted to start a family. And when I say together, I mean literally. There was fertility drama on the road to conceiving you both, none of it was fun, much of it required hormonal manipulation via drugs, and oftentimes we experienced cramping (severe, by the way). But somehow, miraculously, you were both conceived on the very same day in May of 2008. 

Since the moment of your "twinned" conceptions, Mommy Sarah and I have been convinced that the two of you must have a serious pact with one another. We actually believe you two have traveled through many lives together. Now, you know Mommy Sarah doesn't really buy much into that type of "mumbo jumbo," so to get her to agree with me on this theory must mean you two really have some deep connection with one another.

In fact, we write all about your connection in our "family book," as you like to refer to the memoir your mom and I got to write thanks to the “miraculousness” of you both (Times Two/Free Press). We make it very clear that  "[You] remind us on a daily basis that from the moment [you] were conceived, this was [your] story. Not ours." 

While those words really do ring true 364 days of the year, I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge in writing that, "This is your story…except on Mother's Day."

On Mother’s Day, the story is about the “miraculousness” of how your two moms got pregnant on the exact same day! It’s about how we went through nine months of pregnancy elbowing each other out of the way as we ran to the bathroom ill from morning sickness. It’s about our swollen ankles (thankfully gone), carpal tunnel (I still show signs of it), still visible varicose veins (Mommy Sarah will be annoyed I mentioned those), and the 180 pounds we collectively gained together to bring you here healthy and viable.

So. Take note. Do not show up on Mother’s Day with cards whose envelopes are still wet from just having been sealed. Even more importantly, do not show up with conjoined mother’s day cards. We both pushed, so we both earned our own individual Hallmark moment. Do not plan a barbeque without paper plates and plastic forks and knives. We’re not doing your dishes, and quite honestly we’d much prefer your company than lose you to cleaning up after the party.

If none of these things seem attainable to you, all I ask for Mother’s Day is that on a year-round basis you always be safe, you always be kind, you never be afraid to call us if you’re in a bind, and know that no matter what is happening in your life, you can always, ALWAYS tell me. And if you can’t tell me, you can tell Mommy Sarah. But I’m probably a better first bet.

I love you with all my heart,
Mommy Kristen