Friday, July 16, 2010

There's a Dent in my Leg.

I've heard it's good form to every now and again follow up on an old blog post with whatever the latest is on a particular story you may have blogged about.  So, here's my attempt on an update to a blog post titled Sleep Deprivation and the Bed, Bath and Beyond.

A few months ago I posted about an incident that occurred to me in the parking lot of Bed, Bath and Beyond.  Do some of you remember that post?  I bet you don't remember it as much as I do.  For those of you who did not read the post, you can click this link and read it now.  And for those of you who did read the story but would like to freshen up on it, you can go ahead and click on that link too.

Ok.  So.  The other day I went clothes shopping.  Some of you know about this, because I was tweeting from the stores.  New everything.  The main objective of the shopping extravanganza was "clothes that fit".  No, I haven't given up on losing the last 5 pounds (I haven't @ninicamps, I swear).  But I have given up on trying to squeeze myself into "last years shorts, Mr. Henderson."

That quote is a family joke.  I know I'm not Mr. Henderson.  But my brother is.  And his 3rd grade teacher once humiliated him in front of his entire class by asking him if he was wearing last year's shorts.  Because, obviously, the shorts he had on seemed a little tight.  I'm letting him relive the humiliating experience all over again in my blog.  Sorry, Tommy.  That teacher was a full on hag and if I ran into her on the street today, I'd punch her for saying that to my little brother.  And the next time I see you, I expect you'll punch me for putting that story into my blog.

Anyway, shorts that fit were my objective.  While at J. Crew trying on a pair of shorts that did fit, I noticed this weird line across my leg.  It was....a dent.  Aghast, I thought....cellulite?  I gained an awful lot of weight while pregnant, and I've taken it all off ('cept those last 5 that I keep hawin' about).  For those of you who have gained and lost weight, well, you know that leaves your body in a weird way.  Things start showing up places you'd never expect.  Skin gets loose.  It's just...well...your body's just not the same.  So this dent, literally...a dent...in my leg...really threw me for a loop.  I chalked it up to being caused by the massive gain and eventual loss of weight stemming from the birth of the boy - heavenly hunk of deliciousness that he is.  I'd suffer 50 more dents to have him.  But still.  A dent? 

Until a few days later as I was pulling into the Whole Foods parking lot.  It happens to share a parking lot with Bed, Bath and Beyond.  The very same Bed, Bath and Beyond I took a tumble in, for lack of a better description.  As I pulled into the lot, I recalled that tumble and - BAM! - a light bulb went off in my head.

THE DENT!  It's not from being fat and then being skinny-ish ('cept for those last 5lbs) again!  It's from SLAMMING FULL FORCE INTO THE BACK BAR OF THIS VERY GROCERY CART COLLECTOR PHOTOGRAPHED HERE IN THIS BLOG!
  
And to think!  I was headed to Whole Foods to healthy food shop for things to combat my newly discovered cellulite thigh!  Actually, the dent in my leg had nothing at all to do with the aforementioned cellulite.  It's not cellulite at all!  It's just....A DENT IN MY LEG CAUSED FROM SPRINTING DIRECTLY INTO A METAL BAR.  

Phew?

I have a dent in my leg?  Will it go away?  Is it dangerous?

Whuck?????????

#Hendo
 ps-I have not ruled out that the dent in my leg is actually a dent in some sort of non-cellulite-ish fatty tissue.  Even though my leg isn't really fat.  There must be fat in there, right?  I really don't know.  Are there any phys. ed. or trainer type people reading this blog who can delicately and expertly explain to me what this dent in my leg actually is?

18 comments:

  1. Whuck?! ha!

    At least the dent isn't in your head...?

    #brightside

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  2. Been involved in athletics for over 30 yrs, still playing soccer, and had never heard of that. So I just typed "dent in leg" into Google. Apparently this is not exactly uncommon, and I really don't think you have anything to worry about, but I would suggest doing the same and checking out some of the many articles/blog posts on the subject. Hope it goes away soon!

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  3. @marc - hah! I google everything, but it didn't even occur to me to google the dent in my leg! What an excellent idea....

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  4. Sadly, I have dents all over. :-/ some cellulite related, some not. I would not worry.

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  5. Sadly, I bet you could sue Bed, Bath and Beyond....and win! haha

    And what's with this "whuck" that you and @mandaxwp keep using? Is it a combo of what and the f bomb? haha

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  6. I actually have a similar dent, mine is on my shin from a fight with a pool deck a couple summers ago. Needless to say, a "slightly intoxicated" me decided to run into the pool without realizing there was a hole in the deck(where the filter is) and while the rest of me entered the water my left leg was stranded on the deck. Luckily I was "slightly intoxicated" because if I wasn't I probably would have realized the immense pain it caused. After a very large bruise and a long time of healing I now have a nice dent in the same place. It's all scar tissue.

    I'm going to chalk up your dent up to the same, its scar tissue, and chances are will never leave.

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  7. @serensky - whuck is the new WTF. saw @stacegots tweet it out once and I burst out laughing (I hate lol), and she told me it was a 30 Rock reference.

    @tara, your story made me lol, though. the part about your left leg being stranded on the deck! HAH! ouch.

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  8. ah, i have one of those dents in my leg. when i had my unfortunate car accident about 18 months ago, i had a nasty bruise and hard knot on the outside of most of my right thigh. Took forever to heal and eventually left a dent where the middle of the knot had been. has a permanant small bruise, too. you must have hit that pole seriously fast, girl. lol. lord. i'm surprised you didn't do some kind of cartwheeling flip 20 feet into the parking lot. poor you. hope ya'll are well :) this new daytime job does not allow room for extensive road tripping. very sad.

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  9. Careful with the googling...you will start to seriously consider that you have conditions in no way related to your dent. Be sure to keep the logical part of your brain at the forefront.

    Sincerely,
    Not quite reformed hypo.

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  10. patti elder scharfJuly 16, 2010 at 11:18 PM

    I just laughed my butt off reading this blog, but feel bad about the dent . First off the teacher and your brother story brought back memories of a teacher who brought up food caught in my braces infront of the entire science class. Ughh those teachers should of been banned. Till this day I triple check to make sure nothing is on /caught between my teeth. Gross. About the dent, is it big?? Like a scar?? It could be the muscle scarred from the trama? And now its healed( of course ). Or possibly it is cellulite covered up by the scarring from the incident. ??? I gained 62 lbs wen I was pregnant. I have 15 lbs to go. I'm convinced that this body is a joke and my real one will surprise me one day soon. Seriously u look Fab!

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  11. @Hendo, oh geez... Whuck is a 30 Rock ref. This 30 Rock fan feels ashamed. I should have known that. Still... I love Whuck. And I did lol when you tweeted it at me this morning.

    #blerg

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  12. Hurry up and finish that book. I need more laughs. Oh and not to be nit picky or anything but one sentence after you said you hate LOL....you said LOL. (See above)

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  13. Ok, Kristen - here is the word from Diane, our resident Physical Therapist & Acupuncturist: It seems as though it may be an adhesion or adhesions which have formed as a result of scar tissue which built up as a result of the bad bruise. It can be helped by deep tissue massage, Rolfing (a form of tissue stretching), active release (done by any manual therapist - PT, chiropractor) or cupping (acupuncturist). And of course, acupuncture will help by releasing endorphins & breaking up scar tissue. Smart ass just said the other alternative is to slam your other leg into a pole so that they are a matched set! Sorry about your dent...hope this helps!!

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  14. @denatauriello and @Diane, where does one find a reputable accupincturist? Hmmm...backstage, perhaps?

    and FYI, I did blast both legs into the pole before slamming to the ground. Right leg took the bigger brunt, it seems...

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  15. omg. too funny. not about the dent, of course, hope it goes away, but...yeah...good luck with that! ; )

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  16. Hey Kristen, I have a dent on my butt. I had no choice but to slide into home plate on top of a bat in high school. (had to make the run for the team!!!). I had a huge black and blue mark for the longest!!! Hurt like a B***h!!!! Hasn't gone away and it's been too many years to count! Oh, and Dena mentioned rolfing. I heard that is really painful. Haven't done it myself, but you are paying someone to create pain for you!!!

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  17. Would that teacher have been Mrs. Rodman or Mrs. Shea at Deasy School?

    Have you guys every played the Wellmont in Montclair, NJ?

    Please say hello to your sister for me - we used to play the saxophone together in 5th grade.

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  18. 15 years on, I still have a dent in my left thigh from getting slammed into a gatepost by a horse I was riding.

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