I've heard it's good form to every now and again follow up on an old blog post with whatever the latest is on a particular story you may have blogged about. So, here's my attempt on an update to a blog post titled Sleep Deprivation and the Bed, Bath and Beyond.
A few months ago I posted about an incident that occurred to me in the parking lot of Bed, Bath and Beyond. Do some of you remember that post? I bet you don't remember it as much as I do. For those of you who did not read the post, you can click this link and read it now. And for those of you who did read the story but would like to freshen up on it, you can go ahead and click on that link too.
Ok. So. The other day I went clothes shopping. Some of you know about this, because I was tweeting from the stores. New everything. The main objective of the shopping extravanganza was "clothes that fit". No, I haven't given up on losing the last 5 pounds (I haven't @ninicamps, I swear). But I have given up on trying to squeeze myself into "last years shorts, Mr. Henderson."
That quote is a family joke. I know I'm not Mr. Henderson. But my brother is. And his 3rd grade teacher once humiliated him in front of his entire class by asking him if he was wearing last year's shorts. Because, obviously, the shorts he had on seemed a little tight. I'm letting him relive the humiliating experience all over again in my blog. Sorry, Tommy. That teacher was a full on hag and if I ran into her on the street today, I'd punch her for saying that to my little brother. And the next time I see you, I expect you'll punch me for putting that story into my blog.
Anyway, shorts that fit were my objective. While at J. Crew trying on a pair of shorts that did fit, I noticed this weird line across my leg. It was....a dent. Aghast, I thought....cellulite? I gained an awful lot of weight while pregnant, and I've taken it all off ('cept those last 5 that I keep hawin' about). For those of you who have gained and lost weight, well, you know that leaves your body in a weird way. Things start showing up places you'd never expect. Skin gets loose. It's just...well...your body's just not the same. So this dent, literally...a dent...in my leg...really threw me for a loop. I chalked it up to being caused by the massive gain and eventual loss of weight stemming from the birth of the boy - heavenly hunk of deliciousness that he is. I'd suffer 50 more dents to have him. But still. A dent?
Until a few days later as I was pulling into the Whole Foods parking lot. It happens to share a parking lot with Bed, Bath and Beyond. The very same Bed, Bath and Beyond I took a tumble in, for lack of a better description. As I pulled into the lot, I recalled that tumble and - BAM! - a light bulb went off in my head.
THE DENT! It's not from being fat and then being skinny-ish ('cept for those last 5lbs) again! It's from SLAMMING FULL FORCE INTO THE BACK BAR OF THIS VERY GROCERY CART COLLECTOR PHOTOGRAPHED HERE IN THIS BLOG!
And to think! I was headed to Whole Foods to healthy food shop for things to combat my newly discovered cellulite thigh! Actually, the dent in my leg had nothing at all to do with the aforementioned cellulite. It's not cellulite at all! It's just....A DENT IN MY LEG CAUSED FROM SPRINTING DIRECTLY INTO A METAL BAR.
I have a dent in my leg? Will it go away? Is it dangerous?
ps-I have not ruled out that the dent in my leg is actually a dent in some sort of non-cellulite-ish fatty tissue. Even though my leg isn't really fat. There must be fat in there, right? I really don't know. Are there any phys. ed. or trainer type people reading this blog who can delicately and expertly explain to me what this dent in my leg actually is?