I've been reading some extremely hairy reviews on Lilith Fair. And when I say hairy, I mean not so good. As a longtime fan of Sarah's - I mean, does anyone not like Sarah? - I'm bummed for her. I think what she and the Fair did for women in music in the late 90s was pretty g-damn awesome.
But alas, here we are over 10 years later. And the Fair, from what I'm reading, is a bit of a tour-tanic. So, let's pretend for a moment that we're the promoters of this event and it's our shirts that are being lost. Economy aside, what do you think is going wrong?
Here are a few of my thoughts in no particular order:
-Not enough Indigo Girls. Let's be honest. You need Indigos more than Sarah to make it feel like a festival, and they're only on 3 dates this year. #FAIL. Amy Ray brings the camaraderie. I've been on enough female bills (including Lilith) to know that girls don't play nice together backstage. Caddy. Trust me. Amy makes sure everyone plays nice and comes out singing "Midnight Train to Georgia" together at the end. No Amy = No good.
-Not enough really hot-right-this-second names on the bill like PINK. Or like Rihanna. Or like Miley (eek, that's promoter Kristen talking, not regular Kristen). Or, d'uh - GAGA! Or GAGA and Beyonce - TOGETHER! Who else? There must be about 100 others I'm not thinking of.
-They need to get a really hot reunion of some sort on the bill. Like...thinking, thinking....Destiny's Child could have been interesting. I mean. Not that interesting to me, personally. But maybe to people who buy tickets. Or....Fleetwood Mac on Lilith could've been cool. Not that Lilith is lacking in the "people-over-40-who-wear-pleated-khaki-shorts" demographic. OH. I've got it! THE RUNAWAYS. That would have been an AMAZING reunion and OH SO TIMELY.
-Change the name, but make sure it's marketed as something born out of Lilith Fair. Like, hmm. Lil-ish Fair. Alright, we need to work on alternate names. But Lilith feels, well, a little too BeBe Newirth to me. And when I say that, I mean tired. It feels....just.....so....tired.... yawn.
-What if you put some BOYS on the dates. Whoa, I know. Call me crazy as a loon, but, what pisses us female artists off the most is how exclusive the boys clubs are. They've got room for only one female artist on a festival, or one female artist in the rotation at a radio station. What if the new "Lil-ish" INCLUDED instead of EXCLUDED and put one or two guy-like artists on the bill, just for shitz and ticket sales. Sarah can come out to sing a few songs with them to make it feel Lilithy. Oh, I do hear the naysayers already. The whole point of the festival is to give the girls their one place on planet Earth to go be in a festival without feeling excluded. BUT AT LILITH REDUX WE NEED TO CHANGE SOME OF THE OLD RULES. Work with me, people. We're trying to sell tickets to a festival. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, not boys on festival bills.
Seriously, though. I want you to imagine what dudes would be willing to play the festival...hmmm. Oh, I just thought of a GREAT ONE! Adam Lambert! He'd KILL IT at Lilith. And you know he'd be so down to do it. And then he and GAGA can sing a duet! Whooooop. I'm loving this new Lil-ish Fair!
-Ok. Here's my last change. And I know I could get tarred and feathered for even uttering this.
Drum roll please..........Don't make Sarah headliner. (LOUD GASP!)
I know, I know. Blaspheme. But if you rename it, and have Sarah perform on the main stage earlier for some of the dates, or even have her play the more intimate 2nd stage solo with just her piano on other dates, wouldn't that be a nice change of pace? It sure seems like a lot to make Sarah carry the mother lode on her shoulders when she's 10+ years past her...well...biggest years...I say delicately and with boat loads of respect.
Alright. I'm done thinking about this. And I'm wondering what you all think? Did you go? Did you like it? Did it piss you off when people who paid $50 were now sitting next to you in your $250 seats?
Back Stage Lilith Fair 1998:
That's Garrison Starr and me kneeling down in the front meeting for the first time. Garrison now co-writes with Antigone Rising on a regular basis. You just never know who you're kneeling next to anymore, right? Please note, Amy Ray (upper left) invited AR to join everyone on stage for "Midnight Train To Georgia" moments after this photo was snapped.