Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Potty Training & The Purple Schmatta - Good Luck With That.

Potty training.

And that's not even what I need the good luck for.

I made the foolish mistake of prematurely attempting to purchase a training potty for my son. His sister is the one showing signs that she's ready to start the training process. I won't go into detail as to what those signs are, but some of you get the picture.

So she's got this Princess Potty for training. We pull it out and she sits down on it. And her brother, rightfully, is intrigued. So he sits on it too. The problem with the Princess Potty is not that it's got princesses all over it, Thomas is well adjusted and it doesn't threaten his manhood. It's that the bowl is not anatomically shaped for him. On the boy potties, let's just say, they put a "lip" on the front of the bowl that prevents, well, pee from going all over the place. So Princess Potty is just not going to work for our guy, should he get the urge to step off the sidelines and start training himself.

I had some free time last week so I conned @lizbrooks into joining me on a trip to Babies R' Us. And when I say conned, I mean she's the one who talked me into going. Babies R' Us is a suicide mission, in my opinion. You agree with me. But @lizbrooks likes the Sesame Street licensed toys. So she's always up for the trip. In fact, she usually instigates it.

While studying the various training potty options, I got that "dizzy-I-can't-handle-big-box-stores" feeling, so I gave up on finding Thomas' potty that he doesn't really need yet anyway, and decided to deal with some other items on my list.

Beach shoes. You know. Those hideously ugly water proof shoes that you slip onto babies so they don't cut their feet up on the glass. I mean the sand. Seriously, Long Island. Don't my tax dollars afford a load of new sand once a year?

Anyway, I was looking for those stylish foot gems when I noticed the entire rack were all size 2s. About 500 pairs, all hot pink, and all size 2! Not a single different size or color, until...

Eureka! I found two pairs deep in the middle of the rack! Both were electric green. And as luck would have it, one pair would fit Thomas, and one would fit Kate!

It felt like a psychological manipulation. Like Babies R' Us knew the sea of hot pink 2s would make me so happy to find the electric green pairs that I'd just buy them regardless of their hideousness. But the babies can't have the same color in different sizes! That's a quality-of-life issue I cannot cast aside.

So I ask the lady in the purple smock with the name tag that says 'Ask Me, I Like To Help', "Do you have these beach shoes in a different color? It will be too confusing if they both have the same color."

Her response.

"Good luck with that."

Naturally, I giggled. I mean. She was kidding, Right?

Of course, WRONG. Where do I think I am? The leading baby crap store?

So, exasperated, I tossed the two electric green pairs of baby beach shoes into my cart and moved to the next item on my list.

Carter's size 24 clothes.

Even if you don't have kids, you know Carter's. Popular. Cheap. I just needed some things. So I looked around, lost in aisles of clothing, and who do I accidentally make eye contact with? The lady in the purple schmatta. I just know I'm setting myself up for disaster, but I ask it anyway.

"Carter's? Size 24?"

Without hesitation, or even a glance around the clothing section, she uttered her now infamous words, "Good luck with that."

I looked at @lizbrooks. She could smell my frustration. She's tour managed me through it enough times. @Lizbrooks rolled our shopping cart filled with hot green shoes, a training potty (she ended up grabbing one without telling me), new crib sheets and a "Tickle Me Elmo" toward the lady and said, "Good luck with that."

That's why we're best friends. And she's still my tour manager. And I love her.

And off to Buy Buy Baby we went.

ps-we found everything we needed, plus a really cute Puma tennis outfit for baby Kate!


  1. I'm potty training twins as well. My girls Storey and Charlotte are going to be 3 in August. They know everything about the potty and how it works EXCEPT that you have to tell me you have to pee (or poop) BEFORE you do it. They have to be trained by September or else they can't continue preschool in the 3's.

  2. I hope @lizbrooks gave the cart of good shove!

  3. I think you need to forward this wonderful little missive to BRU! This is what they need to hear about. Good luck with the training -- and if Thomas is anything like my boys, you"ll be brushing the cobwebs off that potty when it's time to be used!

  4. Yes! Send this story to babies r us corporate! They'll send free stuff. (and, judging from the great bandana event, we know that everyone loves free stuff!)

  5. Possible incentive to come back to Burlington: a well-stocked Carters outlet about 20 minutes from Higher Ground... :P

  6. potty training....it can be painless or painful. To make it less painful on YOU, but the potty that go on the adult version - that way you aren't moving from cleaning diapers to cleaning pots, which require more than wipes. :-0

    love the Puma dress - may need to get one for my little girl.

  7. hahahaaaa! You never fail to entertain, Hendo.

    And it's not Long Island, it's Long Island SOUND. CT has that problem too, as I'm sure Westchester does. Foot protection needed. Also, that lovely water makes one itchy. #eek

  8. Patti Elder ScharfJune 9, 2010 at 10:49 AM

    Def send your story to Babies r us! Because it is soo true. I never received help when I went there so many times. I do get so frustrated and hot in those stores ( I think the tempature is turned up in those kind of BIG stores). I recall so clearly a time when Nadine was so young I took a trip to Babies r us, I asked a young man "where is the size 2 diapers" and he walked away. He looked at me and shrugged his shoulders, but then just walked away. The potty training, Nadine is 3, pee pee is done, its poop we have the issue with , it's like each time she has to poop she has a agenda. As for Potty covers and all that jazz..Good Luck with that. :-)

  9. Growing up I was always a fun of OshKosh B'gosh. I also love the baby clothes at Target... they have some cute stuff!

    And Thomas is going to grow up to be one helluva man. He's gonna be a total chick magnet.

  10. @serensky, we bought Thomas and Kate each a pair of OshKosh shorts overalls to die for at Buy Buy Baby. Really really cute.

    @OliveStreetStudio - We talked about it last night and totally agree with you. We and are going to bypass the nasty clean up potty and go for the seats that go on the toilet! I can't believe I'm blogging about this...! I promise not to post an update.


  11. @everyone - As for sending complaint to corporate, will I get free diapers? And how many do you think? I need to calculate how much time I put into this vs. reward.