Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Killer Croc Bodega.

Dear Diary,
Tonight, Antigone Rising is playing a show for Cherry Lane's 50th Anniversary Party.  I bought a new outfit, even though I'm acting nonchalant about it all.  Apparently there's a red carpet and a press line, which means I could get photographed still carrying the last 5 pounds (that have turned back into the last 7 pounds) from the well over a year old pregnancy.  15 months and 17 days since giving birth, but who's counting? (update:  photos have posted from this event.  click here and click here)  

@lizbrooks and I found these support like girdle things at Filenes Basement.  Two things about that sentence.  1) I said girdle.  Is that even a word anymore since Spanx were invented?  and 2) Filene's Basement.  You're damn right.  Name brands at affordable prices.

We laughed while holding up the girdles, but I bought one.  And shit, if it tucks those 5 pounds in (that are actually 7 pounds), I'll wear it.  I'm not beyond that, people.  I'm not.

Plus, the nude color tone will make it virtually impossible to detect I'm wearing it, should my t shirt ride up while leaning over to adjust my amp volume.  Win/win.

It wasn't the best day for shopping, I'm not gonna lie to you Diary.  Some days you hit the jack pot.  And some days you can't shake a single stitch out of the mall.

After we left Filenes, we went to the mall.  In and out of every store in the joint.  Nothing.  I felt defeated.  Exasperated.  I missed an entire day of watching my babies grow and develop with nothing to show for it,  until I ventured into Bloomingdale's.

Seriously.  It would not have occurred to me, but @lizbrooks insisted.  And sure enough, in some random section, way in the back-back, really really far back, I can't stress it enough, there it was.  On a rack it didn't even belong to.  Swinging, as if someone just debated it for themselves and decided against it.  And now...I'll be wearing it over my control top nude colored girdle!  Check it out:

You're looking at a bad ass black leather jacket that fits just right, Diary.  ON SALE.  And I'll be wearing it like I mean it on the red carpet tonight.  I will not, however, be wearing the Baby Crocs caught in the lower left corner of the bad ass black leather jacket photo.

But as an fyi to any moms (or dads) out there admiring those Baby Crocs (a larger photo to the right for your viewing pleasure), there's a Killer Croc Bodega set up in the mezzanine of the Roosevelt Field Mall.  The Crocs don't actually kill, I can see how that sentence could be misconstrued.  I mean killer as in rad as in sweet.  All synonyms in the Dictionary of Kristen.  My blog.  My rules.  

The Killer Croc Bodega is right across from Auntie Anne's Pretzels (who me, what 7 pounds?). A really nice lady sells them.  Apparently, these Crocs "resist bacteria."  As she told me this detail, I realized why they call the shoes Crocs.  Anyway, tell her I sent you.  She'll remember me.  I was the girl fumbling for her credit card while juggling a diet coke and an Auntie Anne. 

Alright.  I've got to go flat iron my lid for the big show.  And when I say "big," I'm not talkin' about my muffin top.

Later Gators,

An actual Killer Baby Croc:


  1. 16 years, 1 month, and 13 days, and I'm still carrying an extra 15 lbs from pregnancy. But I suppose the extra 15 is better than the extra 32 that it used to be, and then it wasn't, then it was again.
    I think +5, (or 7), after a year is not a bad deal at all!
    That's just a maturation process anyway. You need that to keep up with them. And you look damned fine.

    I wonder if my Bloomies is having a bad-ass leather jacket sale too. (all my old bad-ass leather jackets are not so bad-ass on the +15 me.)

  2. Sounds like an awesome gig!!! Will you be filming your red carpet experience? I'm sure the paparazzi aren't used to being filmed, while filming. ;) Maybe I'm onto something, or just on something. Have fun!

    Awesome find on the jacket. I love randomly finding great deals like that. Was there a light shining down from heaven, focusing on the jacket?

  3. Ahhh Bloomingdale's... my very favorite place. Seriously. Next time you and Liz are heading there you BETTER CALL YOUR FAVORITE COUSIN KELLY!!

  4. ha - mine will be 4 in June...and I've got the 5 too (which are really 7)...

  5. You are hysterical!!!!! Crocs for kids in the summer are essential. Not really a fan of them for adults except if you are Mario Batali - then you've earned the right. Hope the show was fun. Can't wait to see you guys Saturday.

  6. Crocs? Really Smiley? I was hoping that the croc fad would end at some point. And I thought Batali would wake up and go, "what was I thinking?????" But..i guess it makes sense that little crocs are adorable on kids. They're so teeny tiny-too cute not to put on their tootsies. And when they get older, you can bust them out and say "seeeeeeeee..this is what you all USED to wear" But on adults, Batali included - MAJOR FAIL.

  7. Hands down, hottest leather jacket I've ever seen. Love, love, love it!! You all looked so so hot! What great rock star pics! Love them - oh, and the hubs loves them as well :)