Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Could You Punch a Muppet?
So the fact that you sat there last night after one of three un-impressively lackluster Lee Dewyze performances and ONCE AGAIN told us that he was a paint salesman and that you wish only the best for him makes me think a few things. 1) You're already on his personal management team. 2) You're sexually attracted to him. I know there's a fine line between being British and being gay, but sometimes the British person actually is gay, right @Ollywoodhills? 3) You're channeling the ghost of Paula Abdul.
So. Let me just say. I have moderately liked Crystal Bowersox this season. I thought she was good enough. I liked her personality. But, for the most part, she reminded me of someone we would trade sets with at The Backfence on a Monday night until 3am. In other words, someone who could sing cover songs in a bar that had peanut shells covering the floor. Granted, she'd be the crowd's favorite of the night, unless, of course, she was trading sets with us. But, fortunately, we got out of there (no disrespect to The Backfence) and I thought Crystal never would.
Well, well, well...I'm the first to say that I LOVE when I'm wrong! That girl BLEW her way off Bleecker St. last night. She made Lee Dewyze look like it was amateur night. She opened with Bobby McGee, one of the most over covered songs on planet Earth, and she OWNED it. I do believe I've blogged previously about never covering a Janis song. Oops, me and my big mouth. Seriously, I was like Janis Who? I can't even believe I just typed that.
Then onto Black Velvet, a song I hate so much, I think I hate it even more than I hate The Lady in Red. OK? That's a lotta hate. Not only did I not hate it when Crystal sang it last night, but I rewound it and watched it again!
Meanwhile, Lee Dewyze came out and did a mediocre rendition of The Boxer (no one will ever cover it as well as Burlap to Cashmere. @ninicamps - remember when they'd cover that? It was so good...).
And then U2's Beautiful Day? That wasn't even a hit for U2, was it? Oh my god, and I'm forgetting the horrendous REM cover. What a bad night for the paint guy.
Yet, the judges barely criticized him.
What happened to years past when Simon awarded each contestant with a round? Not a peep out of him. #Whuck! Is it because Crystal's a woman? I'm going out on a limb here and saying it is. The music industry is such a fuckin' boys club. Did I just say fuck? I did. That's how fucked up it is.
Lee Dewyze sucked last night. Crystal Bowersox not only swept the floor with him, but she showed up like a superstar. And for it, the judges applauded politely, said some nice things, but did nothing in their power to make sure she takes this thing home tonight.
ps-Crystal Bowersox closed with "Up to the Mountain" and reminded me why I love what I do for a living....blogging about American Idol.