Thursday, May 13, 2010

The A.I. "O.-Blog"

Since my #1 choice was voted off the show, I am officially o-blogging.  That's a smooshed up word for "obligated to blog."  

 Jamie Foxx.  Ulch.  He's so...what's the word if it were opposites day here on the "o-blog"?

Humble, that's it.

 Fortunately, I started watching this week's episode of American Idol twenty minutes behind, so I could speed search through his "tales of inspiration," and didn't have to sit on the edge of my seat to see if he granted each contestant their "artist" t shirt.  I need one of those emoticon eye roll things to insert here...

Where can I get my hands on one of those t shirts, by the way?  I want to start wearing a "contestant" shirt to our shows in a subtle, yet defiant, statement to the producers of American Idol to never have Jamie Foxx as a guest mentor again.

Aren't I a sour thing since Siobhan got da boot?

Ok.  So I am now rooting for Crystal.  There hasn't been a girl in the finals in a few years.  That's bullshit, people.  Not to mention, Lee Dewyze is a poor man's David Cook is a poor man's Chris Daughty is a poor man's Bo Bice...that's a seriously slippery slope right there, if you ask me.

Why is Casey James in the top three < and NOT Sibohan >?  The words within the < > symbols mean I'm saying them on the inside.  You can choose to read them, if you really want to know what I think on the inside.  Or you can choose to avert any words within bracket symbols for the rest of this "o-blog" . < it's not as easy to do as you'd think >.

Anyway, Casey James is no Danny Gokey < I loved Danny Gokey >...he's not even Diana Degarmo, people.  Who the hell voted for him?  Especially after that snore version of Mrs. Robinson on the ukele.  I know, I know.  It was a mandolin.  Whatev, peeps.  It's my "o-blog."

Alright, talk back and set me straight.  I'd like to try to enjoy the final weeks and not have such a chip on me shoulder, as @joelygabs would say. 

#Hendo



6 comments:

  1. Gotta agree with you on allllll the above! Very good observations and I love the use of the < >. No one ever uses those anymore! LOL!
    Keep rockin!

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  2. I'm not sure who is more of a poser, Casey or Jamie. Never underestimate the power of the teenybopper vote.
    Worst part is, Jamie's name has been floated as a replacement for Simon. I only watch the final ten, but if that happens, I won't watch that either. Ellen is enough to suffer through, I can't deal with jamie too.

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  3. Nice O-blog. I agree with you wholeheartedly about Jamie Foxx. I couldn't really figure out his purpose exactly, other than to hand out tshirts. I didn't get it. Maybe I am biased...I mean to follow Shania (hottie and uber talented) and Harry Connick (hilarious and uber talented)...that had to be a pretty tough gig. But bottom line...this last Idol epi sucked really bad because of him.

    And I know you are disappointed about Siobhan (whom I will from now on refer to as Chevy, because I just don't get that name and I find it hard to spell correctly). She definitely was one of the more talented performers in the line up. And to tell you the truth, the moment I saw her in that vampire video, that moment I knew we would not be seeing the last of her. I know plenty of people that would cast her immedaitely, even if its in the next Twilight ripoff. She definitely has a screen/camera presence. We definitely haven't seen the last of her.

    As for the final 3, well you know how I feel about Casey...I WANT HIS HAIR!! Having lived almost (cough cough) 40 (cough) years with limp, lifeless, straight, dirty blonde hair, I would kill for what pretty boy has in the golden curly locks department. And I wouldn't mind having that smile too...oh the attention that would follow. That's about it for Casey...that mandolin pretty much sealed the deal for me.

    On to Lee...there are so many Lees out there already I can't remember their names. They all sound the same to me. I do not know what the judges are smokin' lately when it comes to him. And seriously...that's a smile? He looks like he's in pain constantly. He's a generic frontman to a generic band. Nuff said.

    That leaves Crystal. I have been a fan of the Powersox since Day 1 and I am thrilled she is in the top 3. Like your fav Chevy, she has that independent spirit, could give a sh!t if you like it because that's the way I'm doin' it kind of attitude that I adore and is sooo refreshing up on stage when the judges start spewing their advice. And she's GOOD...damn GOOD! I just hope the voters recognize true talent when they see it.

    Truly,
    KimBergie

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  4. OK... I'll comment...

    Gokey? GOKEY? Oh, Hendo.

    Jamie was fcuking annoying. Worse than last year. And those "Artist" t-shirts? Holy shite. Would a real artist wear one? In an non ironic way? No. I say, no. I'm tempted to make "Contestant" t-shirts.

    Lee is ok, but very generic. He'll disappear into the ether. Casey is less than ok... and already disappearing.

    It's all about the Bowersox for me. Has been all season. You may have noticed.

    Do I get a birthday shout out tomorrow now?

    AV

    PS. I miss your girl too. But, not her screeching.

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  5. @mandaxwp - Happy Birthday shout out to you. I guess I'll give the Danny Gokey CD I bought you to someone else...

    @ergogal - I know everybody luh'huvs Crystal, and I like her enough. But I really feel like I could see any one of these 3 singing covers at The Back Fence on Bleecker St. < yes, I do resemble that remark >.

    I think she's good. I don't think she's Beth Hart good, though. And I don't think any girl with a little soul in her voice should ever sing Janis Joplin. Ever. Melissa Etheridge included. Maybe I take that back. Etheridge can get away with it cause she's a super star. And she is a super star. I'm willing to debate that with anyone who claims otherwise. Etheride gets on stage every single time and fuckin' SLAYS IT like she's Ricky Martin at The Grammy's and this is her big break...every single time. I'll fight any nay sayer on it. Find me a lackluster Melisse Etheridge performance. And I'm not even that huge of a fan. I just have a lot of respect for the show she puts on and how she delivers every time she gets on stage. < don't get me started on Celine Dion >.

    Casey James is not Joe Bonamassa. And he's not Jonny Lang. And he's not Derek Trucks. And he's not Jon Mayer. And I REALLY can't stand Jon Mayer. But Casey isn't that. He's a cover song singing man in a bar on a street in a city somewhere in Anywhere, USA.

    And Lee Dewyze. I want him to drink more water and not make me see the spit strings in his mouth every week. TMI?

    So, anyway, I'm still not feeling better about the next few weeks of Idol.

    #Hendo

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  6. Oy... haha... if you hand me anything, I'm running away.

    And I do agree about the top three being on Bleecker. Not that there's anything wrong with that... Not at all. You know I love me some Bleecker St.

    I happen to be a big Melissa Etheridge fan. Ever since I was 11 and saw the Come To My Window video. (don't hit me, that's how old I was) I've seen her 3 times (maybe 4, if I get tix for July). She brings IT. And is inspiring.

    Casey... yep.

    I never noticed that about Lee. Now that's all I'll see. Thanks.

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