Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Hey There Dunkin Donuts Man, I'm Talkin' to You!

Is everyone over medicated?  I can't believe I'm even asking that question.  Of course everyone is.  It's obvious when I show up anywhere that most of the people working there are over medicated, miserable and hate their lives.   

I foolishly made the mistake of calling the Lowe's to ask a question about window well covers.  Are you still awake?  Can you believe I even had a question about them?  Well, I guess the person on the line couldn't believe it either, so they left me on hold for 45 minutes.  I just put the phone on speaker and went about my business until 45 minutes later the phone disconnected.  My window well cover question still left dangling, unanswered.  And now that I've blogged about it, the suspense can kill you too.

How about when I tell the Dunkin' Donuts douche bag man that I don't want sugar in my coffee 45 times, only for him to put sugar in my coffee and snarl at me when I bring it back.  You can't snarl at me, for crissakes!  I come in every day and buy coffee from you.  I understand that it's too much for you to remember my daily order of 1 small regular coffee with milk (that's a tough one for sure), but you could at least acknowledge that I look somewhat familiar, couldn't you?  At least once?  Every day I get looked at like it's the first time he's ever seen me?  Am I that bland?  I mean, c'mon people.  I'm not bland, even on my blandest day.  And 100 days in a row of even the blandest person might spark the slightest glint of recognition, no? 

What if I stopped coming in every day and told everyone I know to stop coming in and suddenly nobody came in to buy coffee from you anymore except for my cousin Matt because he couldn't possibly stop buying Dunkin Donuts coffee even from a douche bag man like you?

The cart man on my corner in NYC used to give me a free donut stick every single day.  I didn't ask for the free donut stick.  And god knows, my recovering pregnant body did not need the donut sticks.  But he appreciated the fact that I could go to any corner in NYC and get the same dirty sock water cup of coffee he was providing me with.  My 50 stinkin' cents made a difference to his life.  And his free donut stick tossed in made a difference to mine.  Seriously people.  Who doesn't love free shit?  (Wow, did @ninicamps and I learn that lesson the hard way).

So here's the moral of my story.  The babies are starting to wake up and I don't have all day to get to it.

If you work somewhere, show up like you mean it.  There are only so many hours in a day, and even more importantly, there are only so many days in your life.  Look me in the eye and say thank you or you're welcome or hello or whatever is called for to be said at any particular moment.  Cause one day maybe you'll start your own business, you short sighted ass hat person, and you may have to hire someone to work for you, and they might not give a shit care about your business.  And you won't like that.   



 Definitely not my Dunkin' Donuts douche bag man


  1. Kristen, I think you should...

    * Shut up and deal with snarky Dunkin' Donuts workers

    * Work one day at DD and get back to me

    * Wear that DD uniform and see how you feel.

    * Stop sniffing glue

    ***** MAKE YOUR OWN COFFEE *****



  2. Asshat is one of my favorite words. That's all I got right now... my zyrtec hasn't kicked in yet.

  3. Hilarious. I agree. Nowadays everyone is either medicated, driving a toyota or both. It's a scary world.

  4. I work in food service. It's not something I brag about or enjoy, but it's a job that pays my bills. Plain and simple. With that said, I still go to work, give 100% to my employers, and act like I give a shit.

    Most of the time I could care less if you enjoyed your meal (but I still act like I do). I take that back. I DO care if SOME of my customers enjoy their meals... the ones that treat me like a human. haha

    I'm rambling. Back to your blog... whether or not you like your job, you're being paid to do it. Whether or not you like the customer, treat them well. Without them, you would have no job. More people need to "get" that.

    What was/is your question about window well covers? I live in the middle of nowhere and have vast knowledge/access to useless trivia. I might be able to hook you up with an answer.


    ps- Thank you for spelling Dunkin' Donuts correctly. It drives me nuts reading Duncan Doughnuts or something similar.

  5. You need a Wawa up there. Better coffee, and better people.

    And I think the NYC Cart Man was just hittin' on you. ;-)

  6. Mikey, you're welcome on spelling Dunkin Donuts correctly.

    Window well cover question was: Why does one window well cover cost $7 while the other is $79, but they look exactly the same and have the same description?

    I was leaning toward ordering the $7 window well covers, obviously.

  7. Kristen,

    The resolution to the topic is to call Home Depot :-) !! I would even be tempted to go to the Lowes, and ask for a manager and then call HD on my cell, get my answer and leave....

    As to the DD problem, perhaps it where you are?? I go to the same one and the gal sees me coming and my medium black is waiting for me with I get to the counter.

    I didn't mention, she's from India. Perhaps they still get it. She thanks, me, and I thank her right back.

  8. Don't know what you are doing wrong Kris, but when I go into DD they already have my coffee waiting for me because they saw me coming in.

  9. haha, well, you're much more charming, I'm sure. And I'm clearly going to the wrong Dunkin' Donuts. I need to stick with the Glen Cove one and quit the one up here...

    Maybe I should just let you get my coffee for me from now on??

    Is this really my dad?

  10. Okay, we love you and nothing about you is bland but..... I do spend quite a bit of time in NYC as a New Mexican, but a lot ot my NYC knowledge comes from movies. Doesn't a 'regular' coffee mean two sugars and cream? I think the movie reference is Travolta in "Looks Who's Talking"?

  11. How much better can the $79 window well cover be?! Does it send in sunshine regardless of the weather? If not go with the $7 and you can replace it 10 times and still come out ahead!