Monday, November 16, 2009

Good Mom, Bad Mom...

There's a new conversation I have with myself.  As I go through the day I rate certain "moves."  Does this move make me a "good mom" or a "bad mom?"  Here are a few examples of the game: 

This evening I'm taking a baby CPR course = "good mom"
I waited until they were practically 10 months old to take it = "bad mom"
tomorrow I'm taking them for their flu shot = "good mom"
tomorrow I'm taking them for their flu shot = "bad mom"

So you get the gist of the game, right?

Yesterday I joined another gym.  I say another gym because I am currently getting letters from a collection agency for the crappy gym I already belong to ("bad person").  We're working that out.  ("good person").  So, the new gym I've joined has DAY CARE for babies 3 months and up.  Seriously?  Who's leaving their 3 month old at the gym day care?  That's a "bad mom".  I mean, "good mom" that she wants to take off that weight, but 3 months old?  That baby can barely hold their head up, if they can at all.  Just judgin', I mean sayin'.

Anyway, the gym has TVs on all the cardio equipment, and channel 3 is a direct feed into the daycare.  So you get to watch your baby (in my case bies) the whole time you're doing cardio.  Seriously?  I don't even watch my babies that much when I'm at home with them ("bad mom").  And then you have to feel all that guilt when your baby (in my case bies) are in the day care, but YOU'RE watching Oprah ("bad mom").  And you have to REALLY worry when you walk around the gym and see OTHER PEOPLE watching the daycare channel.  I mean, sorry.  But I read People Magazine back to front.  Anyone watching the daycare channel at the gym is suspect to me.  ESPECIALLY if my two babies are the only ones in the day care.  So I'd spend my whole cardio session walking around the gym to be sure YOU'RE NOT watching the daycare channel.

I bet as a "non mom", when the gym sales boy tells you "we have day care for babies 3 months and up," you think to yourself "this doesn't apply to me but that certainly is a nice amenity for moms.  What a nice gym I'm about to join."  In reality, all that gym daycare does for me is turn me into a raging, self judging lunatic of a mother. 

Me at the gym:
ME: "Oh, hi Linda!  I didn't know you belonged to this gym."
Linda:  "yes, I do.  It's so great you joined the gym" (Linda thinks to herself Kristen really needed to join a gym)
ME: "yeah, you know.  just want to lose that last five pounds" (Kristen knows it's 15 lbs and that Linda is judging her)
Linda:  "where are the babies?"
ME:  "oh, they're here at the day care - you can watch them live on channel 3 as they learn to socialize with other children & adapt to new environments and grown ups so they're not clingy mama's babies.  I am likely exposing them to all types of danger, like H1N1 per The Today Show, or potentially harmful strangers jogging as they watch channel 3, but I refuse to be one of those paranoid crazy mothers, who me?"

And so my internal game of "good mom/bad mom" rages on.


  1. You are hysterical. How about this? I ignore the complaints of my children while I do Wii Fit for 40 minutes--good mom (exercise) AND bad mom (ignoring the children). I'm going to tell myself it builds their self-reliance.

  2. The true way to win the "good mom" vs "bad mom" battle would be to work out while having one baby strapped to your front and one baby strapped to your back. Just sayin'... ;)

  3. This sounds a lot like "Eat It or Wear It"... if you don't know what I'm talking about, you need to tune into Pinky Dinky Doo. Do your cardio machines get Nick Jr? If not, you better get on that sales guy.

  4. Kristen, if I may ask: did "good mom/bad mom" come from the inside or did it creep in from the outside? By "the outside" I mean that social worker you once tweeted about ;)

    Thanks! :)

  5. I am trying to figure out something extremely clever to say without the use of the "s" word i promised I wouldn't say anymore while you combat the baby fat. But it is increasingly hard because I see you making an effort and all I want to do is reward you with the "s" word and a cup of coffee lol (while you raise two babies, live vicariously through Hugsie, and be in a band) from Dunkin. Because the "s"sss rule there. So I will say this. Maaaaaaybe you could find another gym? I mean.. it seems like you're stressing out about the day care center and people watching kids on the monitors. The whole point is to RELEASE THE STRESSSSSSSSS!!

  6. By definition, only good parents even ask these questions

  7. The gym should have workouts for the babies. Babies need exercise to!