Monday, July 20, 2009

$20 for $25,000.

The other day I got one of those spam tweets. For those non savvy twitter peeps, that's a 140 character or less piece of spam that comes into your twitter account. This one said something about babies and a free subscription. Like a jack ass, I clicked it. Lo and behold, it was a free subscription to a baby magazine, one that I've read in the waiting room of my OBGyn and I actually find informative, which leads to this quick side story.

I used to work in advertising in a prior life (shout out Chiat/Day). Sales reps from this particular baby magazine used to call on me to advertise my clients products in their book. I used to snicker on the inside because the mag was distributed FOR FREE in doctors offices around the country. So my 20 something year old ignorant self thought the circulation numbers were grossly inflated, who's REALLY reading this FREE magazine in the doctor's office? Turns out ME. Seriously, 20s were the darkest years. You think you know everything and you really know jack shit.

OK. Back to the story. I fill in my information for the free subscription to the magazine I used to cut from my media plans because I thought new moms didn't actually read it (sorry to the publishers of the magazine 10 years later). Upon hitting "send", I get prompted to enter some baby photo contest. Well, I happen to have 2 of the most beautiful babies in America....and I happen to own the Ashton Kutcher Nikon camera.....and I happen to take about 30,000 photos of my babies a day. So I've got a few shots that I think to myself on the inside make me eligible to be the next Annie Leibowitz of child photography. Like a complete jackity ass, I enter one of the photos into the contest.

HAH! What was I thinking?

Needless to say, the contest people AGREE with me! They too think my baby is ONE OF THE MOST beautiful babies in all of America. And if I pay $20, my most beautiful baby COULD BE one of 1,500 chosen to be in a coffee table book. And FURTHERMORE, could be THE SOLE winner of a $25,000 bond. They seem emphatic about it, as they've sent me nearly 3,000 emails in the past 2 days reminding me to pay $20 before my baby is no longer in the running to be THE MOST beautiful in America.

In all honesty, my conflict is twofold. Aside from the contest's obvious "send us your money and we'll declare your baby the most beautiful on earth" scammish nature, I can't just let ONE of my baby's win! I feel guilty for only submitting ONE baby and EVEN MORE GUILTY that I submitted the one I did to this scammer contest!!!

So I'm going to forgo the contest, keep my $20, and see if I get my free subscription. I will read the magazine cover to cover, in an ironic twist, and pray my baby's photo doesn't start showing up in random places.

The biggest difference between my 20s and my 30s? At least in my 30s I get what a jack ass I am the moment I hit "send".


  1. Oh Kristen, you are suppose to be the computer savy one on the bunch. tsk tsk :)

  2. Now that I'm finally in MY 30s..i feel confident enough to say "jackety ass."

    I too work in advertising..somewhat. I too, in my 20s..thought the same thing. Funny the way it is...but be happy that you know better now. I know people in their 30s AND 40s who STILL don't know their heads from their dungarees.